


Stars Stones and Stellar Remnants

by ReaderRose



Series: Fallen Stars [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Astronomy, Based On A Certain Theory, Cosmophobia, Dissociation, Family Issues, Gen, Identity Issues, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Moving On, POV Second Person, Papyrus Has Issues, Papyrus Knows More Than He Lets On, Papyrus POV, Papyrus Remembers Resets, Papyrus-centric, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route - "I want to stay with you.", Pre-Accident W. D. Gaster, Sans Has Issues, Stargazing, The Core (Undertale), Time Shenanigans, Time Travel, Undertale Monsters on the Surface, Undertale Saves and Resets, Waterfall (Undertale), astrophobia, not dadster
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-03-31 12:12:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13974888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReaderRose/pseuds/ReaderRose
Summary: Whenever you were in Waterfall, you always found time to watch the stars. With or without Sans.Time passed, you grew older, but the sight of the “stars” never did! Seeing them still filled you with joy, and you already had a lot of that! And some days… when you didn’t quite have as much joy (though those days were rare! You made sure of it! Positivity was very important!), they always made you feel better again.They brought back that first clear memory. You and Sans, closer than close. Family. Childhood. It wasn't just that, though. There was something about the “stars” that captivated you.Snowdin was home, but the stars of Waterfall were…were…...forget it.





	1. Stones

**Author's Note:**

> If I don't post this by midnight PST, I'm going to literally be stabbed in the back on the Ides of March.
> 
> So. I write this in early November 2016. I still haven't finished it.  
> I AM GOING TO FINISH IT.

Your clearest early memories were always with Sans.

There was always a certain… fuzz over life before a certain point (a fairly recent point, actually), but there were a few memories that withstood the test of time and space.

The clearest of them all: visiting Waterfall with your big brother.

It had always been your favorite activity. It was better than make-believe or play fights or anything else! Mostly it was because you loved getting to be with your brother, but it was also just so _pretty_! You fully believed the stars were the “most prettiest things in the whole wide underground.” You’d been very sure.

And you got to come and enjoy them with the “bestest person in the whole underground!”

There was nothing better!

“someday, pappy, we’re going to see the real stars!”

That line echoed in your mind stronger than almost anything else for years to come. It was the way he said it. Absolute conviction, and…well, Sans wasn’t known for his enthusiasm. Not even then. Even in his brightest, clearest moments, on his very best days, his voice was always calm and casual. At the time, you'd thought nothing fazed him! Because he was so cool! But when he talked about the stars, that all melted away into a deep well of joy and wisdom. Passion, even! Somehow, it made Sans seem _even cooler_.

“SANS WHAT ARE REAL STARS LIKE??”

“well, pappy, you see, stars are…”

You didn’t really follow what he said.

It didn’t really matter, even! Sans was just so happy when he talked about this stuff! Well, Sans was always happy, you reasoned, because he was always smiling, and that logically meant that he was always happy, but… he was **extra** happy here. His eyes glittered as he spoke. Glittered! They never did that!

(You missed that look.)

His enthusiasm would always spread to you when he was like this, and you had already needed very little excuse to be excited!

From what he said, real stars were the prettiest things in the entire wide world. They were like the buried treasures from your books (in reverse!), precious, unseen. Bright! Prettier than anything you could ever imagine!

They must have been.

“THE REAL STARS ARE EVEN PRETTIER THAN _THESE_ STARS? BECAUSE THESE STARS ARE VERY PRETTY!”

Something went wrong.

Sans’s expression shifted a bit, and you could remember that clearly as the first time you'd ever felt yourself doubting your own words. The first of several (hundreds of) times your confidence would falter. Only the _tiniest_ bit.

What you said seemed to make him less confident, less happy, which didn't make sense because _look at the stars!_ They _were_ very pretty. And he had come here just to see them with you! That couldn't have been something bad to say?

“they are pretty…” he sighed, “but the ones on the surface would blow you away!”

The smile was back, but you were confused. After all, you were pretty great. Sans always said so. You should have been a natural at everything you did. So why did he react like that? What did you say wrong? (Maybe you only imagined it? Why would you?)

 **_These_ ** stars were pretty. Pretty and perfect _and right in front of you!_ Right **_now!_ **

“I LIKE THESE STARS! THEY’RE REALLY NICE AND PRETTY! …BUT THE THING I LIKE THE MOST ABOUT THEM IS BEING HERE WITH YOU!” you cheered, doing your best to make sure your smile was even bigger than his from before. He shared his excitement with you. Maybe you could give some back. “AND I KNOW ONE DAY WE’LL SEE THE REAL STARS TOGETHER AND IT’LL BE EVEN PRETTIER AND BETTERER!!”

You gave him a big hug. The biggest you could manage with such little arms.

You were great at hugs!

“WILL YOU TELL ME MORE ABOUT THE REAL ONES? AND THE ‘MOON?’ WHAT IS THAT?”

Much like the moon, Sans’s smile was once again the brightest thing visible, gazing up into a sea of stars.

 

* * *

 

The next few times you and Sans visited Waterfall, it was kind of… _less_ fun. It was still fun, of course! But something seemed to be hanging in the air unsaid.

Sans would smile… But…

It was a slow progression. He talked more and more about seeing the “real” stars, and you felt more and more _annoyed_ that he wouldn't just stop talking long enough to look at _these_ stars. It was a silly thing to get caught up on, looking back, but you can't just pick and choose what you want to feel and when.

(You'd later take that as a challenge.)

You would ask him a question about them, and suddenly you were talking about something called “outer space” and the “sky” and a bunch of other fantasies you were quickly outgrowing. It became very clear that Sans didn't know a whole lot about the sparkling stones right above your heads.

They just weren't _good enough_ to matter, were they?

You didn't really register it as resentment (very minor resentment!) until later in life. You weren't sure _why_ you resented this. (You didn't really resent _Sans_ at all.) It was just… you just _did_.

One day, you asked Sans if you could go to the library together and find a book about the Underground stars. You knew they were rocks, so maybe you could read about geology! That was the study of rocks! You could both learn together whatever he didn't know!

He said you two could do it later.

The memory of trudging through the snow to the library, alone, was another very strong one.

 

* * *

 

Whenever you were in Waterfall, you always found time to watch the stars. With or without Sans.

Time passed, you grew older, but the sight of the “stars” never did! Seeing them still filled you with joy, and you already had a lot of that! And some days… when you didn’t **quite** have as much joy (though those days were rare! You made sure of it! Positivity was very important!), they always made you feel better again.

They brought back that first clear memory. You and Sans, closer than close. Family. Childhood. It wasn't just that, though. There was something about the “stars” that captivated you.

Snowdin was home, but the stars of Waterfall were…

were…

 

...forget it.

You were never all that great at explaining yourself. Even to yourself! That only meant you would need to practice and get better!

 

~~_(One day, you made a new friend!! You were so_ **_happy_ ** _! You talked for hours!)_ ~~

There was this very cool thing they did, where they reacted to the light below them, and sometimes you liked to send small puffs of bright, harmless magic towards them just to watch the reflections and shadows dance across the ceiling to your entire world. When you were still very young, you liked to think you were waving at them!

~~_(One day, you made a great new friend! You two talked and talked. You felt like you could tell him anything!)_ ~~

They always waved back!

~~_(One day, you met your new best friend! He told you things... He was very smart.)_ ~~

You “outgrew” that silly notion eventually, but you still held on _just_ a bit. You were always so stubborn. You knew they were just rocks, the same way you knew the gifts from “Santa” were from your brother, or that a bedtime story didn't guarantee a good night’s sleep (in fact, who even needs it? Can't have terrible nightmares if you can't sleep!), or that people didn’t always mean it when they agreed that you were great or smart or cool... or that they remembered who you were at all besides “Sans’s brother, right?”

~~_(One day, you met your only friend. He taught you a lot.)_ ~~

As you got older you started to face a lot of uncomfortable truths, or… if you were more honest, you started to **avoid** a lot of uncomfortable truths.

~~_(One day, you met a flower. God, you’re so_ **_stupid_ ** _.)_ ~~

(A smile could be a lie. You were learning that one really well. Your brother had a lot of secrets. You weren’t important enough to share them with. You would never be important. No one would ever respect you.Cooking spaghetti was not, and never would be, warrior training. You didn't have any friends. You probably never would.)

You know. **Those** truths. And so, so many others.

~~_(One day you met a flower… NO! NO!! STOP! PLEASE!!!)_ ~~

…

~~_(One day you met a flower.)_ ~~

~~_(one day you met a flower…)_ ~~

~~_(one day a very bad thing happened)_ ~~

~~_(...one day…one day…one day…one day…)_ ~~

~~_(one day… i dont understand... werent we_ **_friends_ ** _once... cant we just be friends again…? …please...)_ ~~

But…

~~_(One day…)_ ~~

Knowing the “stars” were always above you… you always felt a little more whole.

_(One day, you thought something was going to happen…)_

_(But nobody came.)_

 

You eventually stopped “waving” to them, at least in public, but you always smiled to them! Earnestly!

 

You hoped you weren't completely crazy to feel like they smiled back.

 

* * *

 

A lot of monsters liked to “wish” on the “stars.”

You never did. Not really.

 

They said that you could wish on real stars, and your wish would come true. These _weren’t_ real stars, just poor substitutes, as everyone was so quick to remind you. Whatever power they had, if any at all… it was probably only good for one wish, and you were saving it. You didn’t need wishes to get most things you wanted, anyway.

You just needed to work hard!

 

Over the years, though, you _had_ started to enjoy coming to see the stars more by yourself than you did with Sans. You felt guilty about not wanting him around for it. It’d always been your thing as kids, and those memories were some of the best you had…

But…

 

There was something about it you couldn’t put into words. Something you didn’t want to.

Maybe it was… _well_ … Sans liked the _real_ stars. And these _weren’t_ the real stars.

 

These weren’t Sans’s stars.

_They were yours._

 

* * *

 

While you two didn’t utilize it for that purpose often, you and Undyne had found one of the best spots in the entire Underground to stargaze in Undyne’s favorite rock formation. If she hadn’t already claimed it as hers, you might have considered it in the running for your favorite too!

(Instead, you chose your “bridge.” You were really proud of that! With a nice paint job and the ropes, it made entry into Snowdin Forest both more dramatic _and_ safer! No one was falling on your watch!)

It was great. It sat at the entrance to Hotland, and it was the perfect spot for sparring matches and dramatic battles.

It was also the perfect spot to just sit and _be._

In one direction were the sparkling stones of Waterfall, and in the other, the red glow and skyline of Hotland’s booming industrial district, and at the very edge of that, barely visible from here, but still utterly commanding of respect, sat the CORE. You didn’t like actually being in Hotland, with that massive thing looming over you, the uncomfortable heat, the dizzying heights, the confusing steam vents and conveyor belts, the heights… but from this perspective, from this distance, you could appreciate the sight and what it must have taken to build all of that. Monster hands and tentacles and claws had made _that_. The CORE’s full history was lost to time. No one was sure exactly when or how it had been built, it’d always just been there, but you could imagine the work that went into it, vividly.

It was all actually very inspiring! An example of what a great work ethic could achieve! Monsters were cast out... exiled to a dark cave... yet you had built all of this!

One day after a long training session, you and Undyne both sat up there, soaking in the atmosphere and regaining the energy you’d both just spent on trying to destroy each other (in a friendly way!).

The stars Underground could only shine with the light they were given, unlike the stars above the surface. From this angle, the “stars” seemed to glow with a light they didn’t elsewhere, the radiating lava in the distance giving them a brilliant red sparkle. Some days, from certain angles, they didn’t shine much, but from up here, they practically sang.

You never got tired of this.

Undyne was the first to break the comfortable silence. “They really are pretty huh?”

You smiled widely. “THE STARS,” you exclaimed, loud as usual, but with a softer tone. You didn’t want to break the calm. “ARE ONE OF MY TOP TEN THINGS IN THE ENTIRE UNDERGROUND!”

 

Undyne gave you a huge grin at that. You knew she would. You also knew she would ask you what the other nine were.

...At least, that’s what you’d been going for.

 

You already had a few answers picked out. Some confusion on both ends, a joke, a laugh… You were rarely as spontaneous as you liked to seem. You liked to have a plan. It made you feel a little more confident, and while that came quite naturally most days, others... you needed to fake it a little. Just a bit.

“I wonder what the real stars are like…” She spoke softly, far more gently than her usual cadence. It was nice, different maybe, but the fact that she let herself sound that way in front of you, as if maybe she actually enjoyed this time as much as you did…you felt as warmed by that fact as you felt unsure of how to proceed. Your plan had failed, and this had become an oddly sore subject. For reasons you were never quite able to grasp.

“SANS KNOWS A LOT ABOUT THAT SORT OF THING!” This seemed like as good a route to take as any. Changing the subject wouldn’t really work, would it? Discuss it and move along. “I GUESS THEY’RE LIKE THESE LITTLE BRIGHT DOTS IN THE SKY? BUT THEY’RE ACTUALLY WHOLE ENTIRE WORLDS, FAR, FAR AWAY, SUSPENDED IN AN ENORMOUS FLOATING LAKE OF DARKNESS! AND THEY’RE ALL ON FIRE!”

“That,” she said, still soft and breathy for a moment before ramping up the volume even higher than your own version of normal, “IS SO COOL!!! That might just be the most **BADASS** FACT I have **ever** heard!!!”

You grinned. Nailed it.

The quiet you’d been enjoying was gone now, but her enthusiasm was far more precious to you, and you were excited that you’d been the one to fuel it.

“MY BROTHER ALWAYS TALKS ABOUT HOW MUCH HE WANTS TO SEE THEM SOMEDAY! IF YOU GET HIM STARTED ON IT HE _NEVER SHUTS UP_ ABOUT IT!”

 

And that was the opposite of ‘Nailed it.’

Rather very un-nailed-it.

 

You regretted it the second you said it. This was why you tried to plan things, because when you didn’t, sometimes your tone didn’t quite turn out right. You had aimed for the casually affectionate, almost playful kind of pride you normally reserved for talking about Sans to others, and you hoped she hadn’t caught that uncharacteristically bitter edge that slipped out of your mouth instead.

But she did.

You needed to redirect this and get her smile back where it belonged. Or at least bury it with more blathering until she forgot you’d said anything significantly abnormal. You excelled in that.

“HE’S ALWAYS BEEN REALLY INTO THE SCIENCE STUFF, SO SEEING THE REAL STARS IS HIS DREAM! AND I SUPPORT HIM COMPLETELY! HE REALLY WANTS TO SEE THEM!”

Extra cheery. If smiles could scream, yours would be deafening. (It may have actually been too much.) **The Great Papyrus, Master of the Shouted Word!** You were pretty sure it worked.

“And what about you?”

“...WHAT?”

“Aren’t _you_ excited to see the real stars someday?”

Oh no. She caught you.

You felt your face involuntarily sinking into your scarf. You tried to maintain your trademarked enthusiastic grin, but it fell into a more sheepish expression than you were comfortable showing around Undyne, and the embarrassment you were feeling at your own reactions just made you shrink in on yourself even more.

This was not Royal Guard behavior. You were acting like a child, and you hated yourself for it in that moment.

It felt like hours, but it was probably just a short moment before you looked over at Undyne, expecting disappointment or anger at your weakness, or _worse_.

 

“Papyrus...?” Concern. So, worse, then.

She’d just been in such a good mood, and you ruined it. You of all people had no right to take someone else’s happiness away. You owed her an explanation, even if you weren’t sure of the full answer yourself.

“I… WELL YOU SEE, I…. THE GREAT PAPYRUS…. UH… I…” you floundered. As much as you talked about yourself, you didn’t like _talking_ about _yourself._  And Undyne… she was your friend (Maybe. You hoped. God you hoped) and you should have been able to open up to a friend. But… she was also the Head of the Royal Guard. As head of the Royal Guard, she, _technically_ , held all your hopes and dreams in the palm of her hands, always ready to crush them within her grasp, so disappointing her terrified you even more than disappointing any other friend. _(Not that you had any.)_ You weren’t sure what you were feeling _was_ disappointing, but… well…why take chances?

“Papyrus you don’t have to hold back with me. C’mon, I won’t do whatever it is you’re worried about. You can talk to me!”

You smiled. Not your usual one, not very genuine either, but… it would do. It’s not like you were going to lose her companionship or a spot in the Royal Guard just by saying _this._ You kept the lower half of your skull buried deep in your scarf, maybe in the hopes of muffling the sound of your voice enough that it wouldn't carry any further than the two of you. Truthfully, this wasn't something you wanted the whole Underground to hear.

“I…UHH…” you let out a sigh that took your volume with it. “I suppose I'd like to see the real stars someday. I'd like that very, very much, Undyne. I just,” you paused to think exactly how you wanted to phrase this next part. “I don't want to be excited about something that's not happening”

You quickly added a “YET!”

Too quick. Too forced.

Undyne gave you a long look and a sad smile. She wasn’t used to hearing you like this. No one was. You felt exposed, and… maybe you were being just a little too pessimistic. You weren’t a negative person at all. Even on this subject, you weren’t! Not really… but… it was so hard to get it into words. You weren’t exactly a poet, and these were some very complex feelings!

Time to redirect.

“IF I’M TOO EXCITED NOW, I MAY RUN COMPLETELY OUT OF EXCITEMENT BY THE TIME WE REACH THE SURFACE!” You put your hand to your chest, theatrically. Maybe it was a silly pose to pull out when you were only wearing the ratty old t-shirt and jeans you always practiced in, but it gave you a surge of confidence whenever you found yourself lacking. You'd never needed it more than now. “I AM VERY GREAT, AND I HAVE A LOT OF EXCITEMENT TO SHARE! BUT WHY FOCUS IT ON SOMETHING I DON’T HAVE YET WHEN I CAN BE EXCITED ABOUT ALL THE THINGS I **DO** HAVE!? LIKE…”

You paused. Should you do this? You were doing this.

You didn’t want to show it, but you were so, so nervous…

“LIKE…”

( _please_ )

“…. A FRIEND LIKE YOU!”

( _please like me_ )

 

You tried to make that sound like a declaration of absolute truth. Confident. Fake it until you make it and all of that. But the question hanging there was clear as crystal and you knew she had to have heard it.

 

You looked at Undyne expectantly, scared out of your mind, but hopeful. So hopeful.

You hoped.

You hoped.

Oh _stars_ , you hoped.

( _please_ )

 

At least you hoped she would be merciful enough not to laugh in your face for calling her your friend. For some reason, you felt that that had happened to you at least once in your life, though you no longer remembered the event itself… It wasn't just a bad dream. Couldn't be. It _stung._

 

The worst you feared didn’t come, though. Instead, the earlier worry in her eyes melted into joy, and the next thing you knew, she had you in a tight hug.

 

It occurred to you only then that she may have wanted a friend just as much as you did.

Any leftover doubts and pessimism were forgotten as your friend quantity increased by one.

 

The stars above sparkled, and you silently thanked them for the wish.

 

* * *

 

You were a very prompt and orderly skeleton.

Punctuality and efficiency were very important to you! They were key components of being in the Royal Guard! The most efficient way to do things, then, was theoretically the best, and the most efficient way to and from Undyne’s house in Waterfall was to take the ferry.

Instead, you just made sure to leave your house earlier, and tell Sans to expect you that much later. The quiet walk was worth anything else the time cut into. You could skip meals, you could skip naps (they were never very restful anyways), you could even leave work early if the situation ever called for it (but it never did! You were very careful!), but that walk… you weren’t going to miss it.

It wasn’t your _favorite_ part of the day. Definitely not. It was too self-indulgent. Too unproductive. Too… Un-Papyrus.

What it was was necessary.

You needed this quiet time, more and more. You wanted to make friends, and you wanted to be with your friends you did have, but you also needed to… be away. Just for a bit! You didn't like feeling lonely, but sometimes you needed time alone... if that made sense?

You thought it did.

You needed your breaks from being a brother, a protégé, a sentry, a master chef. You needed your breaks away from being “The Great Papyrus,” to be whoever you were besides everything else, and these walks under the “stars” accommodated that. There was just a little tug from inside your ribcage, though, when you thought about the way you'd turned a ritual you once shared with Sans into some kind of big, selfish _secret_. As if some particularly pretty rocks were somehow more important than the person you were originally meant to share them with.

So, one day you asked Sans if he wanted to go for a walk to see the stars with you. He'd been really down lately ( _so had you_ ) and it seemed only right to ask.

He turned you down.

You only asked once.

 

* * *

 

One day, during one of your walks, you met a flower and made a new friend!

It almost felt too quick. You were almost uneasy.

But you were _almost_ a lot of things, and it was very easy to talk to him! He listened very closely! He knew exactly what to say to get you to open up! You envied that. By the end of the walk he knew almost your whole life story, and you… you never caught his name…? Strange. You hadn’t even thought of asking.

You wondered then if he had caught yours, and then, if he had, if he even remembered it. If he actually cared.

…

 

You decided to take what you were given. You were just happy to make another friend!

You weren’t going to question this any further. _(You had headaches when you tried, anyway.)_

 

You two met a few more times on your walks home. You missed your alone time, but it _was_ nice to have someone to talk to. He was kinder than you’d expected him to be, and your unease faded a bit with each meeting.

 

( **Flowey** . His name was _Flowey_. You remembered. You weren’t sure if he told you or if you’d simply already known. It didn't really matter.)

 

One day, he stopped and said quietly, “...I’m sorry, Papyrus.”

You didn’t even hesitate. “WHATEVER YOU ARE APOLOGIZING FOR, CONSIDER IT ALREADY FORGOTTEN AND FORGIVEN!”

He gave you an uneasy smile, and you grinned in return. You were getting better at forcing it.

 

Your head hurt.

 

* * *

 

You wished you could see the stars from Snowdin. It would make sentry duty a lot less dull to be able to watch your stars sparkle above, but there was a sort of magical light that filled most of the underground, shifting with the hours, obscuring the crystals in the brighter regions entirely, even at the darkest parts of the cycle. Some homage to the light outside of the underground, you guessed. A way to keep the time. A signal to sleep and wake, if that was something you were into.

You’d read books on the subject; it was kind of fascinating. Never seeing the sky for yourself made it difficult to actually picture, though.

You’d found all kinds of books about stars and galaxies and faraway worlds, and while most went to Sans as gift, you often read them first. You wanted to understand. To match his zeal he’d always had for this particular subject. You wanted to have something you could both talk about without the wall that was growing between you, and this was one of the few passions he seemed to have left these days.

The Great Papyrus was great at being enthusiastic! But… but…

 

You _just didn't get it._

 

There were even illustrations in a few but…

They were just... dots?

 

What was so amazing about that?

 

The fact that Sans loved them had always made you want to love them, too, but without seeing them yourself, just reading about them, you couldn’t find the appeal. And, well…

The surface was…

You…

it wasn't that you were…

You weren’t...

Well…

 

**Ugh.**

 

Whenever Sans or anyone else brought it up, now, you **just** **_knew_ ** you would all get to the surface! You had a good feeling about it! It would happen in no time! You believed it 100%! And then you would see the real stars!

 

You were pretty convincing, you thought.

But, still, you could never completely fool yourself.

 

Some things just weren’t in your power, weren’t in anyone’s power, and your “boundless” optimism was… well.

Everyone had their limits.

You just didn't acknowledge yours. Never did!

 

You believed in **yourself**.

You believed in **people**.

 

But you _knew_ getting to the surface was beyond your power, beyond any of you, and what you _didn't_ believe in was **luck**.

 

So the real stars... they may have been up there. They may have been pretty. But it didn’t matter, because they weren’t _really_ real. They were a fantasy.

 

A theoretically very pretty fantasy.

 

Pointless lights.

 

…

 

Nyeh heh heh…

 

 **_“Point_ ** less?”

 

Wowie… That was _awful_. A crime against comedy, really. It barely even counted as a coherent pun.

 

You were slowly turning into Sans.

You decided to clean the entire house a few times when you got off duty.

 

* * *

 

One day, you made a new friend, and Flowey made a plan.

 

You agreed to help.

 

* * *

 

One day…

 

Y̨̥̠̳̲̱͚̟̹̮̹ͬ̊́ͧ̃ͮ͊ͣ̊ͭͯ̇ͤ͜͡Ö̮̼̤͖̣̹̻̣͈̱̤̠̣̟̟̮̘͕́̋̄͂ͯ́̑ͭ̎ͫ͆̌̋ͨ͘̕͞͝U̸̧̧̮̖̺͖̰̖͙̭̬͎̞̫ͯ̋ͤͭͪ͌͋͂ ̡̨̰̲̬̝̝͕̙͙̯̬͚ͯ̒̄ͫ͂͋͂̍͗̑͘W̼̯͕̞͇̜͈̐ͧͧ̎͘͡Ȩ̷̥͈̞͉̻̞̮̖ͩ̏̂ͯ̒ͭ́͊ͪ͑ͣ̔̄͗̄ͨ̌̾ͪͅR̵̵̨̨̹̠̱͕̝̩̣̞͖͍̠̦̣̪̰̤̋ͩ̅͂͊ͣ͒̎̎͛̀̋ͮ͗̊̂͆͊̓͞E̸̸̛̟̥̮͉̪͔͍̮̫̲̣̿̓̎̾ͨ͛͋̍ͪ̔̉ͮ̏̿̿̀̂̍͜N͒ͭ̆̇ͬ̉̚҉̫̳͇̤̱̫͚̪͓̩̪'̸̧̠̥̤͎̫̳̼͕̥̯͊̃̅͗ͯͮͨͫ͟͡͠T͂̾̇̾͘͡͏҉̙̱͎̭͙̮ ̶̷̞͎͎̹͉͚͔̹̰̲̺̓̾ͯͤ̃ͤ̚͘͞ͅY̵̻͈̠̫̝͕̗͈̤ͬͣͩͯ̑ͣͮͪ̓̇ͪ̔Õ̸̢͕̦̙͈̘͔͈͈̲̞̼͇̖̝͙̦͊ͤͧͨ̿̀ͣ̉͆̍ͩ̑ͥ̽͋ͤ̈̚Ữ̡̡̟̠͈̳̺̘̺̳͈̊̔͝͠,̴̢̏ͥ͆͊̿͘͟҉̗̫̩ ̶̛̫̗͍̱̭̼̲͎̳̮̣̣̤̼̭̠̩̲͔͗̓͆́͆F̵ͭͪ͊̓͂̑͋̿̐̉ͣ̏͗͆͒́̉͝͏̷̝͔͇̯͓̹͠O̴̮̯̱̫̳͍͖̗͐͂̇̿̌ͨ̄ͮ̂̅͢͠ͅR̸̨̺͎͙̳̤̰̳̜͈̺̺̲͕̣̺͇̃͂̃͛ͬ͌ͩͯͫ̇ͬ͡ͅ ̸̄̎ͥ̋ͪ͆̒̆̑̅̓̓̇̄̇̏ͫͥ҉̶̝̮͖̖̙͙̩Aͯ̈́͋̃̍̉̍͛ͨ̂̚͢͜͏̶̘̳̥͚̜̬̺͈̦͡ ̡̡̨̹̯͈̬̮̳̤͌̇̿̃̅L̸̨̰̥̟̤͎͖ͧ̃̽̇͟Į̵̵̧̛̞̭͉̮̲̲̥̜̝͖̟̥̺̳̦̄̄ͤͣ̏̒̋͋͑̾͊ͩ̌ͨͭͅŤ̢͉̞͎̤͖̈́̃̋̿̿̓ͭ̅̎ͦͫŢ̸̵̡̭̜̟͎̬̣͓̼͈̠͉̮̙̩̮͑͋͗͂͑ͦ̀̇̇̍͛ͨ̈͂̂̽ͧͩ̚͞L̴͕̝̫̜͚͕͉͈̳̱̺̱̐ͬͮͮ͂͊ͤͬ̉̂̌ͬ̊ͤ͒͛͌Ę̨̱̩͉̞̩͚͍͕̇̓ͫ̒͒̂͗̂͋͋͞ ̢͌̑̍͗ͦ̄̾̅̏͗̏͛̂͠҉̯͓̟̱̖͍̥̱͔̻̻̦͉̬͡ͅW̿̐ͬ̏̄̒͋̾̽̐̈ͮͭ̒ͪ̃͐͊̚҉̸̶̢̹̺͉̙̜͖͚͓͖͇̳̼̦̳̞̝͙̬̣͜H̬̭̣̩̙͎̞͙͔̤̥̲̼͍̑̃̅ͯ͌͊͐́̽̋͂́͛ͬ͜͞͠ͅI̴̛͎̦͖̯ͬͭ͐ͣͧ̽̚̕͘L̴̲̬̞̣̲̱̲̯̙̺̦̞̥̼͓͈̻̩ͧ̆ͯ̌ͩ̅̈̐ͨ͋̈́͞E͙̫͚̱̩͙̹͇̲̰̳͓͇̰͔͋ͤͩ̄̄̒̇͒̃ͮ͠.̵̨̱̬̜͓̙̮̠͙͙̅ͫ̈̓̾́͛ͅ  
̵̨̟͙̭͙̮̳̍̃ͨ̂̎͛ͣ́̿̇ͩ́͒̍̓̍͢ ̨̛̪̺͇͍̎̔̎̅ͨ͒͋͊̚͞͡Ỷ̎̈́ͨ͛͌̽ͥͭͯ̔̉͒͐̾ͦ̿͐͜͠͏̻̻͕̲͚̟͖̠̥̰͉͎̻͡O̴ͩ͒̐̂̑͂̍̎̿̂́͗̀ͬ̆ͣ͏̶̡̛̟̙̦̭̻̠̼͍̰͓̝͖ͅͅỦ̢̪̻͍̰͈̳̫̓͌̆ͦ̔̑̐͑͆͊̂ͣ͌̚̚͟͝ ̸̸̢̹̹͓̝̬̹͚̳̙̖͋̓̓̄ͬͬ̀̋̐̋͂ͤͫ̊̐̋͋̅͟͞F̷̴̼͕̙̎ͧ͐̃ͦ͋͌ͥͬͬ͛̓̏̌̕O̢͖̥͎̲̭̱̱͕͕̦͕̼̔̎͗̎̀̎͞R̶̛̪͍̦̲̬̻͉̉̆͒̐ͧͬG̴̸͍̪̩̟̬̮̯̥̼̦̺̘ͯ̄ͯ̊̈̀ͧ̓̔ͨͭ̈͐ͣ͘͟ͅŎ͕̗͔̼͓̯̣͕͕̫̅͑ͭ͑ͣ̿͌̚͘̕͠ͅͅŢ̷̷͓̦͇̣̓ͯͭ̏̓̾͂̿̍͒̐͞.̿̒̄ͥ̅̋̆̐̆̀̏̄ͩ͛̌͆҉͕̠̗̻͙̠͍̰̪͉̥̮̪̜͚̣̱̻ ̷̡̮̭͔̙̜̞͕̹ͣ͆ͬͤ̍͋ͥ͑̂̚͘ͅͅY̿͐̒͊ͭ͋ͯ̋̾̚͟҉̠̟̗̮͙̤̮͙̤̱̯̠̪̟̱̦͞Ǒ̵͔̞̺̯̯̰̜̜̝͓̼̻͈͈̳̟ͯ̽ͯ̆ͮ̎ͬ̚U̸̵̷̷̢̻̣̙̙̣̩͑̾̇̄̓ͪ̔̿̑̈̽͑̏ͪ̊̍ ̺̬͉̭̤͙͍͓̼̟̼̥̹͍͔͓̣̼̙͋͌̏ͦ̔ͦ̉̍͌͂̍̄̽̾͒ͣ̚̕͘Ŗ̽̀̿̂̈̍̚͝͏̪̩͍̰̪̺̟̝̹͓̙̘ͅE̸̶̫̝̩͙̬̫̗̤̭̟͍̮̜̙̼̝̓̌̽̾ͫ̊̿ͤ̈͂ͨ̐ͧ̂̓̄͡M̷̡̛̟͔͇̯̘̩͇̜̟̦͎̳͇͚̥͎͇̈́̏̈̓͌̈ͨ̾ͬE̸ͮ̑̄̒̀ͬ̊̂̋̉̾ͨͬ̕͏̰͈̯̘̫͙̱̮̤͈M̨̖̟̰̜̏͑̊ͮ̐̚̚͢͡B̢̧̛͚̰̻̬͚̖̩̭̯͖̻ͩ̉́̔ͯ̋̕͢Ȩ̴̩͚͕͉̖̘͉͉̳̟̣͈̝̰̘̰̖ͨ͆ͣͧ̏ͨ͋̑͘͜͠R̴̨͉̘͇̦͇̳̎̀̃̓̀͋͌͌͋̑̎̈̂͊ͤ͟͡ͅȆ̡̧̖̻̜̘̙̱͉̤͓̪͔ͥ̇ͥ̂͗̈ͣ̈́́̓̅ͨ̓ͨD̢͍̦̺̯̮̝̰̩̓͋͆̈́͑̔̏͊͋͑͋͢͟ͅ.̛̜̜̞̝̤̱͖̙̝͚͔͇̫̬̟̄͒̿̇ͯ̐̆̉͂̌ͨ̓̎̋ͭ̂̚͡ ̵̄͂ͣ͗͋͊̓̔͗ͯ̏ͧ̄ͫ̂͗̃҉̜͚͕̼̪͢  
̷̷̢͔̣̫̺̞͎̞͓̙̬͓͎̟͓͊̂̀ͬ́́̎ͫ̑ͮͯ̿ͤͮ́̅Y̵̨̨̫̦̲̬̖̲̘̳̠̱͊͗̐͛ͮͬ̚ͅO̴̯̺̮͉̼̩͈̲ͣ͛̓ͨ͋̾̅ͫ̄ͨ̆̌̊ͣ̚̕͜͠͞Ư̸̰̘̱͚̗͉̟̮̱̦̬̝̘͓̥͍̘̭ͬͥ̆̇̎ͧͬͬͦͩ̊ͫ͐ ̓͗̋ͨ̇̄̏̏͏̨͔͍̱̱̦̪͕͔͜͞F̧̡̤̝̠̝͓̯̗͉̩̾̎͆̈ͮͣͪ̂ͪͯ̋͆̏͒̈́̽͞͠Ơ̜̥͇͕̝̾ͣ̔̽̄ͦ͛̽̃̇͊ͪͧ̽̈́̕͝R̶̷̶̭̗̱̘̣͖̲̼̗͙̝̜̫͕͈̉ͯ͌͒̅͛ͥ̾̒̓͋͌̋͂ͧ̚Ġ̸͕͇̟̫̘̳̥ͫ͊̍͊́̀̀ͨ̎̉ͪͦ͐͆ͧ̃̈͋͘ͅOͣ̏̾̽̈͋̍̉̃҉̨̱͎̪̻̖͔̗̫̤̲̼͍͉͢͠Ť̢̗̝̹͔̳̪̥̣͙̹͇͎͔͙̃ͭͮ̈́͒ͪͫ̿̿ͩ̚͠ͅ.̶͕͔̝͎̱͇͓̲̦̯̤̤̙̤̘͉̘̜͓̇ͯͬ̀̃͂̋̃ͮ̊͐ͭ̀͝

_“someday, pappy, we’re going to see the real stars!”_

 

**One day, Papyrus… you got to see the real stars.**

 


	2. Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus sees the stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the short one. It didn't do too well to prop this one up with extra content, and while there was one more part that could have been added to this, it didn't flow quite right. The next chapter is about as long as the first or... 
> 
> ....at least it will be, once I finally finish it......

_“someday, pappy, we’re going to see the real stars!”_

 

**One day, Papyrus… you got to see the real stars.**

  


The surface was huge. You’d always thought of the Underground as a pretty big place but it was absolutely nothing compared to the world above.

There were so many things you instantly fell in love with on the surface!

Cool cars! Basketball at the park! You were planning a road trip with some of your _friends_ and you were going to see so many places! There were so many new ways to make spaghetti! Everything you could imagine was new and clean and fresh… fresh air! You couldn’t even describe the difference fresh air made, even if you didn’t technically have lungs! There were so, so many new people. New potential friends! So many people! So many people... You… you would have a very hard time introducing yourself… to all of them… most probably… most wouldn’t…

There were a lot of cool new things!

And buildings! Buildings taller than anything you’d ever seen! Larger than the CORE, definitely. Much larger. ‘Skyscrapers.’ Fascinating, really! But, you learned with a bit of pride, nothing human hands had ever built matched the CORE’s capabilities. That was an unrivaled feat of engineering that monsters had to call their own. According to some of the human scientists who had been permitted down to see it, it might just “ **change everything** ,” which would have probably been very exciting if everything hadn't already changed!  


* * *

 

 

It had taken a few weeks of adjustment and settling in before Sans came to you with an excitement in his eyes you hadn’t seen in ages, and told you the time had come.

You were going stargazing.

You’d already seen the stars that first night. As expected, they were little white dots. Fuzzy. Dim, even. The light they cast had no effect on the world below. They may as well have not been there at all, for all the good they were.

Forgettable.

They did not live up to the hype.

In fact, of all the forms you’d seen the sky take on, the stars were the least impressive. Clouds, on the other hand, were _very_ cool. Because they were extremely high in the atmosphere! Nyeh!

So, you weren’t expecting much out of this, and you weren't convinced as to why it needed to be a trip.  
  
“light pollution, bro. they’re fighting for attention here in the city. you have to go somewhere really dark to actually _see_ them.”

 

“I CAN’T WAIT!”

 

You could definitely wait. After all, these things had been hanging above you for your entire existence without you ever being able to see them. What was another day, month, year, lifetime?

Still, you weren’t going to let this bitterness you didn’t understand, couldn’t understand, get in the way of your brother’s happiness. And you would try not to let it get in the way of yours, though that was much easier said than done.

Truthfully, you _were_ a happy person. It wasn’t an act, though sometimes in the throes of whatever _this_ was, you started to think it was. There were just… problems you didn’t understand. Couldn’t understand. Puzzles that were impossible to solve.

 

You’d been trying very hard. For a very long time!

 

* * *

 

 

You thought about this all on the car ride. Neither of you had had a chance to learn to drive, yet (You were already studying up, though! Not a second to lose!), but monsterkind had fairly quickly found itself with allies and friends on the surface. It filled your soul with joy to discover how many humans truly were dedicated to being good people! Pitching the opportunity to introduce a fellow amatuer astronomer to the stars for the very first time, Sans had convinced a small local star-gazing club to bring you both along on one of their trips. You were excited for the ride (Cars were the best human invention, you decided. Talk about living up to the hype! Stars, take note!), and the chance to make new friends! But your hosts had far more to talk about with Sans than with you, so after trying to follow along for a bit and failing, you opted to stare out the window. It was dark, and there wasn’t much to see. It was crowded in the van, so you didn’t want to fidget. So instead, you just sort of… zoned out.

You wondered about your flower friend. He had been missing since the barrier fell, and it was hard convincing anyone he’d ever existed at all. Frisk had seemed to understand and believe you, but they were no help. After your talk, the all-too-familiar feeling washed over you that you were being kept from a truth no one thought you could handle. You just hoped you were wrong… it’s all you could do.

You thought about the future and what it might have in store for you. Royal guard disbanded, yet another lifelong dream crushed… you could try again but you weren’t sure where to even start. Maybe something with cars, or opening a restaurant? Acting? You’d seen a very cool human play that Frisk had been a part of at their school. You could learn that! Life coach? No, no… probably not life coach. Maybe you could go to college and figure it out from there. Maybe… maybe you could even study engineering… or… or maybe not.

You thought about how fuzzy your memory got sometimes. Would that get in the way of studying? You could work through it! But maybe… maybe you had to accept that you couldn’t.

You wondered about the nagging feeling that had been at the back for your mind your entire life…

Eventually, you just lost yourself for a bit in the flashes of lights and reflections and the darkness outside. Easy, lazy, comforting, but wasn’t as if there was anything else left for you.

By the time you'd arrived, you had fallen asleep.

 

* * *

 

You awoke in a more somber mood than you would normally allow yourself to show publicly, but it was dark enough that you were certain no one would notice the lack of a grin, and it was late enough that you assumed your silence could only be appreciated.

Time to see the stars!

The group trekked into a large open field, and you didn't bother looking up at first. Not until you were in the exact perfect spot that Sans seemed to think would make you care about all of this. He’d been walking a bit slowly, taking it all in with a rare look of wonder. You felt very guilty, suddenly, for the way you were feeling.

Once the group had stopped, you two kept going just a bit further, Sans thankfully putting some distance between you two and the humans who brought you both out here.

If you were going to do this, you liked that it was just going to be you and your big brother. Like being kids again. That thought lightened your soul a bit and you let yourself relax, not realizing you hadn’t been relaxed before.

He finally picked a spot and you laid out a blanket. He'd explained that it was supposed to be nicer when you were sitting, so you sat.

“look up, pap”

You did.

At first, your original assessment seemed to be confirmed.

White dots.

Specks.

But… Sans seemed impressed, and when was the last time you'd done this? Gone stargazing? And this was his _dream_. Not just to see the stars…

 _To see them with_ **_you_ ** _._

 

With that in mind, you tried to open your mind and focus on what was above you.

Gradually, you could start to feel the distance between stars, the depth of it all. You had seen the sky many times now but this was the first time you truly realized that there was _nothing there_.

 

You felt yourself gasp before the emotion itself seemed to even fully register.

There was no ceiling above you. _Nothing._ It just went on and on and on forever. It was endless.

It was all so impossibly vast.

You’d never felt so small before.

“HOW… HOW FAR IS ALL THAT FROM US?”

“the closest star is about 4 and a half light-years away.”

That didn't sound too far, but… “LIGHT-YEARS?”

“that's the measure of how long it takes the light to reach us.” You actually felt like you might have some understanding of this part buried away (maybe from when he explained this all as kids?) but you let him explain anyway. “light is extremely fast, it seems instantaneous for us. but light still needs to move, so we measure distance to stars by how many years it takes for its light to arrive here.”

That was… it was impossible for you to even estimate how far that was. Impossible to comprehend in any real way.

“some of those stars are so far… it's taken thousands and thousands of years for their light to reach us...”

You covered your mouth to block another gasp, then felt your hands slowly slide down, one over your neck, the other over your ribcage, your soul. You needed to make sure they were both still there.

You could only think of just how endless it all was. If gravity suddenly reversed you could fall and fall and fall forever into that blackness and this time there really would be nothing left of you.

 

“a lot of those stars may not even still be there anymore. we can estimate, but we wouldn't even know it for sure… it just takes too long to catch up. at least some are long, long gone. gravitational collapse. we're just seeing their echoes, basically. what they once started and what they left behind…”

Sans moved a bit closer to you and you leaned against him immediately once he was in range.

You needed to know he was right there. You needed to feel it.

You needed to feel real again.

 

“WHAT… WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM? WHEN THEY… DIE? DO THEY… DUST, OR…?”

“there’s a few factors… but they become something else entirely, a stellar remnant. some become black holes, others just kinda change… it’s a lot to really explain.”

You weren’t sure you could even find the words to ask him to.

You stared into the void above. It was so, so endless and you were so _insignificant._

 

“it’s so weird… knowin that we’re all just on this tiny little speck of dust in the middle of nothing. every one of those stars up there could have a planet like ours around it, and they might be looking out at us right now. it’s crazy…”

It was.

 

“...but here’s the real crazy part: we’re nothin, right? objectively speaking, on the grand scale of the universe, we are absolutely nothing. just caught in this cycle of stars and galaxies and time itself, but…thing is, humans managed to land a guy on the moon. there’s people livin’ in space right now! they sent out probes and satellites and we’re learnin’ more and more each day. some of those probes aren’t even in our solar system anymore. we’re pushing forward, getting further… it’s amazing. we won’t see how it all ends… but… bro, a few weeks ago we were stuck in a hole in the ground… and now we get to see all this. together.”

You… didn’t know how to feel… whether to laugh, or… cry…

You held onto Sans as tightly as you could, and proceeded to do both. You didn’t ever want to let go.

 

“IT’S _SO MUCH_ , SANS!!!”

 

You sobbed into that old jacket of his for what may very well have been hours. It was just… so _much_. So big. So vast. So beautiful.

 

So endless.

And you were so, so _small_.

  


 

 

And… maybe it was all just _too much_...

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

_“IF YOU WAKE UP BEFORE I GET BACK,_

_PLEASE DO NOT WORRY ABOUT ME._

_I LIKELY WILL NOT HAVE SERVICE_

_WHERE I AM GOING_

_PLEASE DO NOT LOOK FOR ME._

_ĘVĘRY̕TH͢I̸N̴G̢ ͝IS̶ FINE҉.̸_

_—P̛͞A̸PY̸̧͢R̨̧̕U͡͡S̕”̛͞_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> One last part left
> 
> Updates on Wednesdays.


End file.
